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ChaosBleed's Journal


ChaosBleed's Journal

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10 entries this month
 

Mercy, Compassion, Empathy, Justice

06:22 Feb 22 2008
Times Read: 619


All great words, we try and we try to implement them, give them reason, see they are adhered to becuase it is these sre the feelings that separate us from animals.



Or does it??



We have these ideals, these goals, yet it seems we have set the bar of achievement too high.

Humans are the only animal that kill each other for no justifiable reason, not just for territory, females, food, we do it sometimes because we can, we enjoy it and we claim to be better than animals??





The title suggest we never evolved from Caveman becuase if we did our emotional growth would stem these feelings, so how did we come about them.



I'll never know, but I appreciate my ability to feel it all and try to set things "right" (noticing other people in despair and NOT ignoring them) but I am only one man, my daughter has to grow up in this world, I would wish I could wavw a wand but I can't, I will never EVER regret the birth of my daughter, ut I do regret the world I brought her into.



We have to change.


COMMENTS

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xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
18:37 Feb 22 2008

Some call it progression... I call it a generation away from anarchy. Parents need to educate and take responsibility for their children! and I wish there were more parents in the world like you, who do care about the society their kids are raised in.





 

ChaosBleed...........the story

00:27 Feb 20 2008
Times Read: 622


Where does my screen name come from??



Give you a cookie if you can tell me??



When I first chose it, it was simply a Buffy connection, a geek chosen screen identity to either identify or hide from the mutual vamp masse's.



But now I look at it again, 5 years on and through experience a the screen name is no longer JUST a geeky interaction, self justified new meaning.





Chaos: Random, New, Changing:- When do we not all do this??

I mean be it we are content or unhappy, things always change, some times for ill, sometimes for better, yet no matter how we try to control all aspects of our life for our happiness things ALWAYS change, a state of Chaos, can ensue, it is how we adapt and confront this changinging state can give you a SMALL measure of who we are.



Bleed:- From the king of kings, to a lowlt peasant it is one thing that unites us all and tell's us we are human, if we can bleed together, we suffer together, and when we suffer we can make things right, hopefully.


COMMENTS

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xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
18:39 Feb 22 2008

Geez, and there I was thinking you were on crack when you thought of it!





 

*a-funting-chu* Exscuse me.....................

15:17 Feb 19 2008
Times Read: 624


Bleeerrrgghh.



Sorry bout that, cold and all and JUST my smegging luck I have an interview tommorrow.

My BESTEST mate Tony has gotten me an interview for SONY (PS2, PS3 and PSP producers) as a games tester, should be great, I get to test all the new games and what not that come out so here's hoping :D



You know what??



I think caring fathers are cursed.



All this month am skint as hell, couldn't afford the bus fare to see my shining light, and the ONE day I get paid, I feel like shit, ill as hell.

I mean I got up yesterday to go to see my lil girl, Tony rings me and tells me to stay in, cos well, SONY will be ringing me (Its a job and right now am unemployed) so I rang my ex and she was basically saying

A) I was a bad Dad (cos I couldn't come down earlier with all my "wonderful time off")

B) Making exscuses not to come down



I fucking give up.



I fight past the illness, I wrangle an interview, I get to see my lovely little girl and then on the way home I feel so ill I fall asleep and miss my train stop.



Fuck it...........................too stubborn to give up and taking my little girl to the park was worth it :)


COMMENTS

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Going stir crazy

04:39 Feb 13 2008
Times Read: 632


it is now 4:39am I need a job, my system is completely out of sync and................................need a job.


COMMENTS

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crowgirl
crowgirl
11:24 Feb 13 2008

::hugs:: you'll get one hunny.





 

LETS GO MURPHY'S

23:13 Feb 10 2008
Times Read: 640


Well me and my man Neil (after a near miss) met up at the coach station and sauntered off to the land of Manchester, many cool conversations followed and it was just plain nice to kick it with someone from the old school.



We got there all safe and sound at the Manchester Academy, we hit the bar and after some strange fellow Murphy's fan behaviour manged to get a drink :)



Couple ciggies later we headed insde and got quite close to the front (that ain't the exciting part yet my dear readers) we all picked up the Chant of LETS GO MURPHY'S!!!!! and the light went up and the gods of punk showed there angry happy faces, from this point on from The Dirty Glass, The field of Amon Rai (I think I mispelt that) and many others I manged to THRASH, not mosh but THRASH for two SOLID hours, then after they played Kiss me am shitfaced (after inviting all the females in the audience to get onstage) the show was over..............................................................until the opening riff to the gangs all here was heard MORE THRASH and itwent on and on until the last song played.......................where we ALLL got ONSTAGE LIVE IN MANCHESTER WITH THE DROPKICK MURPHY'S singing next to our punk heroes having a whale of a time seeing a gi FROM THE BANDS PERSPECTIVE and not only that as soon as the drummer downed stix :D I got one and as i was leaving the stage SHOOOK the lead singers hand :D



Checklist :)



1)First time seeing the DKM and having a laugh_CHECK

2)Getting my first drumstick used LIVE in a gig-CHECK

3)Getting onstage-Check



And all this was in my first time seeing them :)



BEST...............GIG..........................OF.....................MY......................................LIFE


COMMENTS

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crowgirl
crowgirl
11:27 Feb 11 2008

Sweet :D Glad you had a good time!



But Serj will be the best gig of your life, WON'T it? ;)





 

Thought for the day

03:53 Feb 09 2008
Times Read: 643


I just got thinking then reading through some pretty heavy poetry. They say that;



"the best things in life are free."



on the other had there is also a saying that;



"everything comes at a price"



as i got thinking into deeper and deeper thought its pretty true the 2nd statement. peoples actions determin their consciences take for example the statement itself "everything comes at a price" if you think back to adam and eve. they had it all in the garden of eden, everything they needed happiness, harmony, basically "everything they could have asked for, which was given to them for free." the one rule which they had to obide by was not to eat from the forbiden fruit.,which they obviously broken. therefore determining that "everything comes at a price." They were cursed, men to work, and the women to suffer child birth. If we look at it in todays society the statements itself are still very much true.



When you think about relationship, yeah love itself is one of the greatest gifts we can receive. But betrayal comes at a price. It's like that statement people say when they are in relationships how others are "forbiden fruit." i guess thats how them words come into practice.


COMMENTS

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Rate me fairly please

07:13 Feb 07 2008
Times Read: 655


(god I can have so much fun with this :)



I love all these goddamn profiles that actually structure their rating systems :)



"If I rated you low please ask me why and I will e.t.c e.t.c"



Translation:



"I have read your pro sand I am on a pedestal above you and have maybe a more technically oriented mind so can actually make my page do backflips whilst playing the bagpipes with my ass"



Don't get me wrong I like the nice pro's and the effort that people put into them makes me wish I was a bit more creative BUT at least if I was to see a pro maybe less glamourous than mine (kinda hard) I still rate 10, cos you know unity through a sub culture, shouldn't we all just be happy we have the same interest??



Exscuse my idealism but hey, I wanna judge people on the content of their character NOT their profile.


COMMENTS

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Maledicta
Maledicta
07:48 Feb 07 2008

Thats a good point, but with this being a community website you can't always see enough of a person's character to make a judgement, so the profile is all you have to go by.





 

Bill Hicks/Serj tankian/ Michael Moore YOU???

04:45 Feb 07 2008
Times Read: 657


Why is it we get inspirational people like the above, yet we still carry on regardless with reckless abandon and sheer idiocy and happiliy hack and slash our enviroment to pieces BUT we find it more fun to do it to each other??



RIDDLE Me fucking this, Jesus was if anything, if there was a Jesus, a guide right?? So with new sensibilities, scientific fact, common decent ( I used that word sparingly) sense tells us time and time and time and time AGAIN there is no point in our mutual destruction, we can make this world better and we do have the power to be fucking ok with each other.



But goddamn that sounds like work doesn't it?? the fact we may actually have to put distrust and hatred aside and because we're incapable o that, yet love our own private hell's, the bigger picture takes a back seat.



We have been guided, cautioned, ridiculed and chastised by people not afraid to speak the truth and how do we thank them??



If their lucky...............................we talk about them when we're in the pub, create lofty ideals and paint over the dark patches of our own disjointed reality, then we get up and leave, and just re fucking join the masse's that are all going towards anhilation like a moth to a flame.


COMMENTS

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crowgirl
crowgirl
23:22 Feb 07 2008

I think everyone should go and listen to the song on my profile, The Unthinking Majority, by Serj Tankian. It just says dow to a T what's wrong with our world and the people in it.

I agree wholeheartedly with you.......but......you said Serj ::giggles::.........and.........nope........brain's malfuntioning. ;)





 

Feel good :)

02:30 Feb 04 2008
Times Read: 671



COMMENTS

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crowgirl
crowgirl
02:33 Feb 04 2008

that's amazing..........i feel good too :D lol





xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
22:48 Feb 05 2008

ooh booyyy *whistles* you feel good? can anyone else verify that? hah





 

Jealousy??/

02:01 Feb 04 2008
Times Read: 673


Vampires are cat like, they NEED to drink blood and are predatory by nature. They are very vain, concerned with appearence and looks e.t.c



Werewolves do not HAVE to feed on humans, animals will do, they are not vain and are motre in touch with nature.



I believe that if there was a feud (which I don't but other ppl seem hell bent of it) I beleive that it is sheer jealousy on the Vamp side, a militaristic belief that they are superior (sound familiar?? check our history around the year 1943)



Now me personally this is all just a.......good story, a leap of logic that is well entertainment and fascinates me, all through the world BEFORE mass transit and cross cultural exchanges there has been cave drawing depictions and the first stories committed to paper and pictures were o f two things.



1) Beings that needed blood to sustain themselves



2) People that shared a connection with animals (spiritual or otherwise)



I thing like many things it was just all blown out of proportion, till I see CONCRETE evidence of either, I shall just enjoy the stories.



COMMENTS

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crowgirl
crowgirl
02:34 Feb 04 2008

AMEN to that hun! Thank god someone finally said it....now I can stop bashing my head against the wall at the stupidity of people. You show there IS intelligence out there :)








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